“You are alive, so take your life and enjoy it. You were born with the right to be happy, to love, and to share your love. Just to be – to take a risk and enjoy your life – is all that matters – Don Miguel Ruiz “The Four Agreements”
Recovery is a journey. While each path is unique, many individuals who struggle with addictions find that structured programs, in combination with other treatment methods like therapy, counselling or continuing support services, can be very effective in helping them achieve long-term recovery. One such program is The Four Agreements. Based on ancient Toltec Wisdom and developed by Don Miguel Ruiz, the Four Agreements are a set of principles and guidelines for living a fulfilling life with integrity and accountability. Meant for anyone who wants to improve their well-being, these agreements are particularly useful for those in recovery from addiction, and are often used alongside a 12-Step Program.
In his best-selling book The Four Agreements, author Don Miguel Ruiz defines an “agreement” as a code for understanding and communication. From early childhood and throughout our lives, we develop thousands of agreements with ourselves, some positive and others, not. Fear-based or negative agreements can prevent us from reaching our full potential and can cause immense unhappiness in our lives.This is especially true for those struggling with addictions. These individuals often get caught in self-centric destructive agreements, like shame, self-doubt and judgement of themselves and others.
In order to create love and happiness in your life, Don Miguel Ruiz invites individuals to break the habits of old agreements by adopting four new agreements that aim to build self-worth and personal power. By practicing these four guiding principles on a daily basis, you can break the negative agreements that have been holding you back and succeed on your path to recovery.
Be Impeccable With Your Word
“Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean… Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”
Words can be a powerful force. Lies, false promises, deception – these are the words that surround addiction. In order to be impeccable with your word, you are encouraged to saying what you mean, ensuring that you are honest and truthful with both yourself and others. By using your words in the direction of truth and love, it will help you regain self-respect and respect from others.
Don’t Take Anything Personally
“Whatever happens around you don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”
What other people think is not always the truth, and shouldn’t be accepted as such. With this agreement, the key is to learn and grow from all experiences, both positive and negative. This agreement invites us to see that the actions and decisions of others are always based on their experience. By agreeing to free ourselves from the burden of worrying about the way others see us, we are one step closer to reaching personal freedom.
Don’t Make Assumptions
“Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama.”
Many individuals in active addiction share the sense that the world is out to get them. But just as we must agree not to take personally the words or actions of others, we must also not assume their thoughts. Sometimes a simple misunderstanding can lead to immense pain and resentments. Therefore, always ensure that you ask questions, remain curious, and communicate effectively so you fully understand what people are saying before taking their meaning to heart.
Always Do Your Best
“Your best is going to change from moment to moment… Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret.”
There’s no such thing as perfection, so why hold yourself to try to meet this expectation? What’s important is that you always strive to be your best self and follow the best course of action. It’s natural to sometimes stumble. And when you do, don’t judge yourself too harshly – just pick yourself up and stay positive.
At Cedars we believe in a holistic, invitational, and individualized approach to addiction treatment. To learn more about how we treat the body, mind, and spirit within our process addiction treatment program please visit our website . To speak to a member of our admissions department for information about residential addiction treatment for yourself or for a loved-one, please contact us . To learn more about the Four Agreements and the offerings of Don Miguel Ruiz please visit the author’s website .
Your full recovery is our soul purpose.