Sometimes the ones we love the most are the ones we have the toughest time telling the truth too. When you’re living with someone who is addicted to drugs or alochol, the truth is sometimes the furthest possible conversation. For many, we become the ‘enabler’, the much publicized name of someone who feeds an addiction along the lines of “killing with kindness” rather than helping them get better. Offering them money, buying them booze, helping them obtain drugs. Giving them shelter even after we’ve offered up an ultimatum that this is the last straw and there are no more “second chances”.
There is nothing tougher than battling the swarm of addiction. But maybe, equally as tough, is the loved one by their side, the ones who have to watch the horror firsthand and somehow feel powerless to do anything about it.
Boundaries, rules and clarity are incredibly important. But not blaming ones self is equally crucial. Many loved ones who care for addicted people shine the light of guilt on themselves, finding ways to take credit for the downward spiral. This fallacy is incredibly hurtful, not only for the ‘enabler’, but also for the person they are enabling.